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“One guy told me that, in a way, he used one of his female best friends in college. But some gay men actually encourage it, she says. Most of the time, a gay best friend might be oblivious if his female friend has fallen for him. I feel blessed mine was relatively short-term.” “I know a woman who was in a relationship for 17 years before he came out as gay.
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I was gutted.”ĭespite the heartache, Davidson says she got off lightly. “And then he broke my heart into a million, billion pieces. “So I drank to give myself Dutch courage and I said, ‘I’m in love with you, do you love me or not, what’s the story?’” “There was an incident when I went on an actual date and he got very jealous, he was confused,” Davidson says. The ’80s were tough (for straight women) - Wham, Elton John, for God’s sake.” I thought George was the most divine thing in my entire life and he was everything I wanted in a boy. “We were both like ‘Hello cutie pie, let’s go to the movies and dance,’ but I had horizontal shenanigans in mind and he, clearly, did not.” He was different other guys, he spoke to me like I was a person.” “I wasn’t sure if he was my boyfriend, but I was the happiest I’d ever been. We would stay up all night talking about films and he was flirtatious with me at the movies he would put his arm around me.” Davidson has said she would prefer not to name the man. It was when she was in college, in her early 20s, that he walked into a class and before long she was smitten. I’d been going to parties with drag queens when I was 6, but it happens - hormones are crazy.” “A gay man wasn’t a shiny unicorn I’d never seen before.
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“I’d been raised in a family with lots of gay men in it, so I should have known better than anyone (not to fall in love with one),” Davidson says. She says she is a “third-generation handbag.” Her grandmother was a “beard,” or fake girlfriend, to gay men she was close to, while her mother helped when the community was being devastated by AIDS. That includes the current debates in Australia, such as marriage equality.” “Straight allies, and particularly women, are a vital part of the fight for gay rights. “So many women have acted as protectors, cheerleaders, and supporters of their gay friends, but always in the background,” Davidson says. These days, straight women and gay men who get along would probably just be called friends, but “handbags” were often vocal and visual supporters of the LGBTQ community when discrimination - legal and otherwise - was still rampant. Her story is one of several in a new documentary Davidson is directing called “Handbag: The Untold Story of the Fag Hag.” She has just raised $41,000 for the film set to be released in 2018.ĭavidson says she is not sure what she feels about the term “fag hag.” It has a derogatory air, so she prefers “handbag.” But both refer to the same thing - straight women who have strong, often highly intense and mutually supportive relationships with gay men. “It can be really confusing,” she tells. People ask, couldn’t we tell we were falling in love with a gay man? They say we’re idiots, but they’re a man - we like men - and they encapsulate everything you want in a man.” I couldn’t say it was because he was gay,” said the 46-year-old.ĭavidson, from Sydney, Australia, says she’s not the first straight woman to fall for a gay man. I couldn’t say he wasn’t interested in my whole gender. “I said, ‘I tried, but he wasn’t interested in me.’ I wore that because I loved him. Nonetheless, she agreed to one last favor and didn’t reveal the real reason why they parted ways. “He broke my heart into a million, billion pieces,” she says. Like most people, Monica Davidson was devastated when her boyfriend dumped her.